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Old November 20th, 2002, 01:39 PM   #136
RazberrieTart
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LMAO Rusty Chevrolet is a CLASSIC a CLASSIC !!!!!!! One of the bestest Xmas song parodies. That and Da Turdy Point Buck and New Kids got Run Over By a Reindeer and Days of Xmas - Redneck Style and Walkin Round In Women's Underwear and Chainsaw Carolers and Ding! Fries are Done and Bob And Doug's 12 gifts of Xmas and The Hunting Song.... I could go on and on LOL I love parodies of christmas songs and stuff OH andmy favorite oneof all, which could applyto me cause of all the wassail (urp) It's Christmas and I Wonder Where I Am ?
Tartie who somehow has garland tinselly stuff around herself.
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Old November 20th, 2002, 02:35 PM   #137
PumpkinPatchKid
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Just hang on Tartie
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Old November 20th, 2002, 02:47 PM   #138
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Lacy things -- the wife is missin',
Didn't ask -- her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the store -- there's a teddy,
Little straps -- like spaghetti,
It holds me so tight,
Like handcuffs at night,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear.
In the office there's a guy named Melvin,
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown.
He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!" "Let's wait until our wives are out of town!"
Later on, if you wanna,
We can dress -- like Madonna,
Put on some eyeshade,
And join the parade,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
Lacy things... missin',
Didn't ask... permission,
Wearin' her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear,
Walkin' 'round in women's underwear!
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Old November 20th, 2002, 04:28 PM   #139
RazberrieTart
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LMAO Daccie where are you finding the lyrics ?? Dr. Demento ?
Tartie
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Old November 20th, 2002, 05:25 PM   #140
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ROFLMAO

Nope da devil is givin them to me
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Old November 20th, 2002, 05:59 PM   #141
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Tartie: WHOA! Somebody done been to the Wal-Mart!

Daccie: No, girl. This is just the stuff I got for Christmas.

Tartie: You cleaned up! Whatcha get?

WOWChorus: Five flannel shirts...

Daccie: Four Piedmont tires, three shotgun shells,
two huntin' dogs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.

Tartie: Daccie, I think you got gypped. There's TWELVE days to Christmas!

Daccie: I know that. I got it covered. Look over there in the corner.

Tartie: That's yours, too?!?

Daccie: Yeah...

WOWChorus: On the twelve days of Christmas, my true love sent to me

Daccie: Twelve-pack of Bud, eleven rasslin' tickets,
"ten" of "Copenhagen",
nine years probation,
eight table dancers, seven packs of "Red Man",
six cans of Spam...(Whew).

WOWChorus: Five flannel shirts...

Daccie: Four Piedmont tires, three shotgun shells,
two huntin' dogs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.

Tartie: Man, them ain't normal Christmas presents.

Daccie: Naw, they're "redneck" gifts.

Tartie: "Redneck" gifts?

Daccie: Yeah, you know. Like if you bought your wife earrings that double as fishing lures. Or if you can burp the entire chorus of "Jingle Bells".
Perhaps if you think the "Nutcracker" is something you did off the high dive.
Or if you've ever misspelled anything in Christmas lights.
Or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus.

Tartie: What's wrong with that?

Daccie: I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, but it's hard to beat...

Twelve-pack of Bud,
eleven rasslin' tickets, "ten" of "Copenhagen",
nine years probation,
eight table dancers,
seven packs of "Red Man",
six cans of Spam...(Whew).

WOWChorus: Five flannel shirts...

Daccie: Four Piedmont tires, three shotgun shells,
two huntin' dogs
and some parts to a Mustang GT.

Tartie: You know, you can't really consider it a Christmas 'less you go down to the penitentiary 'n visit to yer mama.

Daccie; You're not listening to me...Get the car key out of your ear. That's where the "nine months probation" comes in. I'm gonna do it for ya again...Now listen...

Twelve-pack of Bud, eleven rasslin' tickets,
"ten" of "Copenhagen",
nine years probation,
eight table dancers,
seven packs of "Red Man",
six cans of Spam...

Chorus: Five flannel shirts...

Four Piedmont tires,
three shotgun shells,
two huntin' dogs,
and some parts to a Mustang
GT...

Daccie; Are you cryin'?

Tartie;(Sniff) No, it's just my allergies.

Happy Holidays, everybody.





(Daccie looks at Tartie)
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Old November 20th, 2002, 06:35 PM   #142
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I'm waiting for The Night Santa Went Crazy.... Yep it done was my allergies. Here's the car key.
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Old November 20th, 2002, 06:40 PM   #143
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The Night Santa Went Crazy
Extra Gory Version

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said "It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts
There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now Santa Claus is dead
Some guy from the SWAT team blew a hole through his head
Yes, little friend, now that's his brains on the floor
Guess you won't have the fat guy to kick around anymore
Well now there's no more presents for the children's enjoyment
And the elves gotta stand in line to file for unemployment
And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They're talkin' bout the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped
Woah, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Woah, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped in his brain
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Old November 20th, 2002, 06:42 PM   #144
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ROFLMAO I was just about to post that! ROFL
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Old November 20th, 2002, 06:47 PM   #145
RazberrieTart
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Ok..... How about you go find I'm Gettin Nothin For Christmas and I'll go find All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth ?
Tartie
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Old November 20th, 2002, 07:32 PM   #146
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I broke my bat on Johnny's head;

Somebody snitched on me.

I hid a frog in sister's bed;

Somebody snitched on me.

I spilled some ink on Mommy's rug;

I made Tommy eat a bug;

Bought some gum with a penny slug;

Somebody snitched on me.

Oh, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

Mommy and Daddy are mad.

I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas

'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I put a tack on teacher's chair
somebody snitched on me.

I tied a knot in Susie's hair
somebody snitched on me.

I did a dance on Mommy's plants

climbed a tree and tore my pants

Filled the sugar bowl with ants
somebody snitched on me.

So, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

Mommy and Daddy are mad.

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas

'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad.

I won't be seeing Santa Claus;

Somebody snitched on me.

He won't come visit me because

Somebody snitched on me.

Next year I'll be going straight;

Next year I'll be good, just wait

I'd start now, but it's too late;

Somebody snitched on me.

So you better be good whatever you do

'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you,

You'll get nuttin' for Christmas.

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Old November 20th, 2002, 08:16 PM   #147
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Red face

/me desparately tries to untie the knot.......
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Old November 20th, 2002, 09:29 PM   #148
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lol...you should be nicer to your mom ...pumpkin have you not learned if momma ain't happy no one is
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Old November 21st, 2002, 12:11 AM   #149
Wolfie0ne
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I'm thinkin Dac IS Dr. Demento...that or she has waaaaaaaay too much time on her hands. Or maybe it's a hip flask filled with her own version of wacky brew.
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Old November 21st, 2002, 12:19 AM   #150
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I'm also thinkin Raz has too much time on her hands. You and Dac are the Martin n Lewis of LS.
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