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Old June 6th, 2011, 03:01 PM   #1
MostlyErica
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Unhappy I seem to do what a man is supposed to do

I wanted for so long to talk about it and now I just can't put it in words. The reason I got here may seem childlish.And maybe it is. But I just can't stand it anymore. It's about my relationships with men. Every girl around me has already changed, almost 5 boyfriends this year. And I am single for 3 years now.I had one relationship in the 9 th grade but it wasn't something serious. And then I had 2 crushes. I used to be a flirty kind of girl. If I wanted a guy I wasn't afraid to talk with him...even just for fun. But like I said, these were not relationships. And in march I noticed something that I haven't noticed before: In my some-kind of relationships I was the one that took the lead, that created opportunities, that struggled to find more and more subjects to talk about. Not once was a guy doing this with me. And I see all these girls around me, they are just standind there without doing anything, waiting for someone to take them and boom: some guy grabbes them. Why am I not grabbed? I start to wonder if I shouldn't have been a guy instead of a girl because all I seem to do is like what a guy is supposed to do? The irony is....I can't be a lesbian..because I like too much men.
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Old June 6th, 2011, 10:42 PM   #2
sistergirl
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HiMostly Erica...I understand that men like a challenge. Oh they may act like they want you to do this or that, but in reality want a challenge. They don't want a door mat. I'm not suggesting you are a door mat, but I would play it cool. Flirt a little, enough to get their attention and then let them take the lead. I wonder if this helps you at all. I think it is worth a try.
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Old June 9th, 2011, 03:25 AM   #3
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REPOSTED:

June 7th, 2011, 08:11 AM by Wolf_angel

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolf_angel View Post
Most men to a point are afraid of a take charge woman! I know but you can be demure flirtatious without letting go of your true self. Yes do as sistergirl suggested yet once you find the right man and he will know he had found you, it will work out. For a good man will love your diversity on what you do. Some want to be only the one leader whereas a good man will take turns with his woman! Good Luck! Hugs
June 7th, 2011, 02:33 PM by MostlyErica

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Originally Posted by MostlyErica View Post
Thank you all for you kind words. It really means a lot to me. Wolf_angel, you may be right with what you've said, that men may be afraid of a take charge woman... it makes sense. I remember a friend said that to me. Well in another form, but the same idea. At that point, I didn't wanted to believe that i may be a little responsibble for what is happening to me. Sistergirl, about what you've said, about flirting, I thought about it. And even if it's hard to believe....I don't know how to do it anymore. I don't know how that happened...it's just..that I feel stucked...I didn't practice for so long...and I feel like I'm once again stepping in the unknown. Maybe I always felt that I'm not so good at flirting, maybe, I don't know, that's why I started to take the lead in this way, because I was afraid of risking....
I must step in the unknown, I know that....I'm just afraid of what might happen to me.
June 7th, 2011, 05:41 PM by sistergirl


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I too like how Wolf put it. I am not a flirter either, so I can relate. But the point is to let him know you are interested...maybe if he smiles, smile back, that type of thing. In the beginning a man needs to "hunt", be the persuer and once the connection is established a good man will not be controlling and you should have equal power in the relationship...always!
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Old June 11th, 2011, 09:51 PM   #4
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Erica, The most important thing you can be is to be yourself. The right person will come along & accept you for who you are. Flirting is fun but be true to you. Whatever don't compromise your feelings. When you start doing that you'll be uncomfortable. Good luck to you. I agree with sistergirl the guy needs to accept you for who you are. Time will tell. Be yourself, don't make yourself into someone you don't want to be.
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Old June 12th, 2011, 11:02 AM   #5
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I am curious what "mostly" Erica means...I hope it doesn't mean that you are not being yourself, 100%, all of the time. Just got my curioity up is all. I too like what Irish said and that's why I ask this question. Hope you have a great day!
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Old June 12th, 2011, 02:15 PM   #6
Jennifer23
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Erica, Irish is right. Just be you! Unless you're 85 years old or something, you'll find your guy. Don't try to be somebody that you're not.
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Old June 13th, 2011, 08:29 AM   #7
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Keep us posted on how things are going Hugs
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Old June 14th, 2011, 03:26 PM   #8
MostlyErica
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Sister girl, the reason I took the name "Mostly Erica" is because : 1. Erica is not my true name.In fact is Vera. Erica is just an alter ego, if you can say so... and 2. "Mostly" has to do with the 1 point. I'm not 100% disguised. I do use Erica as a disguise. But here, on this website, I thought I'll take my mask off once in a while, so I should call myself MostlyErica. Hope I've cleared things up.

And if all of you wonder why I haven't showed up lately, well, is because my computer was causing me kinda trouble . I'm happy that other women gave an answer to my dilemma. I really have good news. I feel no longer stucked. I managed to flirt...in many ways.from talking to doing's ) I feel very enthusiastic about this...And no, I do not expect something serious to appear. I just want to have fun, for now. And I have to thank you all for this...You gave me courage to step up.... I'll write if anything special comes in my way ><

Last edited by MostlyErica; June 14th, 2011 at 03:31 PM. Reason: correcting mistakes
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Old June 15th, 2011, 01:14 AM   #9
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Hi...now I understand. Glad you are coming out of your shell a little and like Cindy lauper says..."girls just wanna have fun". I bet you are feeling more relaxed, at least that's what I got from your very nice post.
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