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Old June 30th, 2001, 08:23 AM   #166
PinoWOW
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Hello, ((((((Serene)))))) Hope those vacation plans are coming along nicely. <G>

<FONT SIZE=+3>(((((ActionWOW))))))</FONT> This has been the best morning of my entire life. Let's let 'em wonder! Love you!!

TODAY'S JOKE:

A man goes to Victoria Secret to buy his wife the
most sheer lingerie he can find. The woman behind the
counter goes and gets an outfit.

"This is $200," she says.

"I want one that's more sheer," says he.

"This one is $350."

"I want it even more sheer than that."

"This one is the most sheer that we have. It's $500."

"I'll take it!"

The man goes home to his wife and shows it to her ying,

"Go put this on and come down to model it for me."

His wife goes upstairs, opens the box and
thinks, "This thing is so see-through that the old coot
won't even notice if I'm wearing it or not. I can take
this back for a refund and he won't know the difference."

So his wife comes out wearing nothing at all and
strikes a pose at the top of the stairs.

"So, how do you like it?" she asks.

Her husband then complains, "Darn, you'd think
for $500 they'd iron the dang thing!"
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Old July 7th, 2001, 05:23 AM   #167
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((((((Folder Crew))))))

TODAY'S JOKE:

My therapist told me a way to achieve inner peace is to finish things I've started.

Today I finished two bags of potato chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
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Old July 10th, 2001, 06:42 AM   #168
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<font size=+3>((*((*((BakingGal))*))*))</font>

Love the jokes ...

Love the cryptic remarks ...

And I love you
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Old July 10th, 2001, 12:28 PM   #169
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Morning ((((Pino & Quietude)))) Thought you might could use a joke...

<b>Great Truths About Life That Children Have Learned</b>

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize a cat.

2) When your mom is mad at your dad, never let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

5) Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.

6) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

7) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

8) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
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Old July 11th, 2001, 10:39 AM   #170
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{{{{Pino&Q-uie}}}}

Back from a month in Ohio with the kids and Caiden! My how he's grown! He's 2 1/2 already, and the joy of my life!

Summer's still here, and I am going to pop into your chat!!!!

Love to you both!
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Old July 11th, 2001, 05:47 PM   #171
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(((((((Lou)))))))) Oh, heck! I was gonna baptize the cat tomorrow. Now I'll have to find something else. ROFL Gret ones!! I also love the "don't let Mom brush your hair when she is mad at your Dad."

(((((((Nova)))))))) GOOD!! Come to Trailer Park. It's a hoot... but this Friday we are outta town, so you may have to hoot with someone else. Love you, too!!

<FONT SIZE=+3>((((((((E/R WOW))))))))</FONT> ROFL, I just have a few more minutes before it winds down. Then you'll pound up the stairs to check mail and watch BB. <G>

TODAY'S JOKE:

The cannibal went to the witch doctor complaining of an upset
stomach
after eating his last meal.

The witch doctor queried him about what he had eaten.

The cannibal replied, "I had one of those guys who wears a hooded
robe with a knotted rope down the side, and he was carrying a rosary."

"How did you cook him? "the witch doctor asked.

"I boiled him." he replied.

"Well, that's your problem, you prepared him all wrong." said the
witch doctor, "You should have known he was a friar!"
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Old July 12th, 2001, 07:45 PM   #172
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OMG that one is nearly as bad as that one I e-mailed over to you today!!

<font size=+3>((*((*((FunnyWOW))*))*))</font>

(((((((((Lou))))))))) Actually that should be FunnyLou, come to think of it. That was a lovely set of *thoughts*. I'm going to treasure some of those. I hope your Summer's going well
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Old July 22nd, 2001, 06:52 PM   #173
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(((((Pino))))) Greetings from the Capital city
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Old July 22nd, 2001, 07:11 PM   #174
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Hiya {{{{Pino}}}}

Hope all is well. Heard any good new music lately?

Got any new stories brewing in your brain?
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Old July 25th, 2001, 06:19 PM   #175
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(((((Pino))))) Hi there Co-hostie
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Old July 25th, 2001, 08:44 PM   #176
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((((((((((((((( Pino )))))))))))))))))))Hi sweetie
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Old July 27th, 2001, 02:42 AM   #177
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Hello (((((((Dot))))))))!!!! That's some wonderful news about *you.* We missed ya!

(((((((Serene))))))) There's nothing like working with a Vanishing Girl like you. LOL Hope you make better connections soon. <G>

(((((((LiamFan))))))) I've a story right here. Sadly, it's Will Rogers... but a keeper.

TODAY'S JOKE:

Quote of the Day
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
- From 'The Wisdom of Will Rogers'
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Old July 27th, 2001, 01:53 PM   #178
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(((((Pino))))) & LOL to today's joke. Here's a little something...

<b>Work Rules</b>

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Even better, hover behind me, and advise
me at every keystroke.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. Opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is priority. I am psychic.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's hell.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so many taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.

13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.

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Old July 27th, 2001, 06:36 PM   #179
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(((((((((((Pino))))))))))Hello my friend. I miss you.
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Old August 5th, 2001, 02:31 AM   #180
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((((((((Lou))))))))) Those are excellent. They've got me thinking how happy I am not to be working. I'll send them on to a few secretaries I know.

((((((((Dot))))))))) Love to you and yours. All the time!

<FONT SIZE=+3>{{{{{{{{QW}}}}}}}}}</FONT> And you used to comment on my never posting! I bet you'll do a lot of catching up when we're in America and all the phone calls are free. LOL Hey, I love you.

We're going to a birthday party today!

TODAY'S JOKE:

A cowboy lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh Amarillo
Theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the
cowboy, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The cowboy groaned but didn't budge. The usher became more impatient.
"Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the
manager."

The cowboy just groaned. The usher marched briskly back up the aisle,
and in a moment he returned with the manager. Together the two of them
tried repeatedly to move the cowboy, but with no success. Finally, they
summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy,
what's your name?"

"Sam," the cowboy moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam replied, "The balcony."
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