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Old May 20th, 2001, 08:09 PM   #31
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and something told me... this was just not going to be my day
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Old May 20th, 2001, 11:33 PM   #32
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and right you are, as it is night.

The wind howled around the corner of the building, lights flickered and then went out. Not a star in the sky. No moonbeams to light my path. Fear, like a cold, slimy finger grasped at my throat.

Finally, I leaned against the wall, wondering if it was possible to find a way into the building. I now knew the meaning of a "pitch black night".

I closed my eyes and let my other senses take over. What was that smell? I heard a scraping noise. I think it came from behind the building. Did I want to move away from the safty of the building? What waited for me in that abyss?

Calm overtook my mind. I knew what I had to do.
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Old May 21st, 2001, 12:02 AM   #33
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I pulled on my Martha Stewart garden clogs and ventured forth.
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Old May 21st, 2001, 09:17 AM   #34
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It pays to be prepared. One never knows when the fashion police (or even worse: the fashion nazis) will turn up.

I grabbed a flashlight and crept closer.
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Old May 23rd, 2001, 01:37 PM   #35
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...because in this crazy world, somebody has to zip out of the coward's cloak. From high above, someone--3G?--pressed the buzzer and the lock clicked open. I gripped the knob, twisted it, and pushed open the big door. It was heavy as a coffin lid. I flicked the beam of my flashlight ahead and saw a stairway leading straight up to ...
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Old May 23rd, 2001, 02:57 PM   #36
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<i>Heaven</i>. There's a lady who's sure that all that glitters is gold...and she's <i>buying a staircase to</i>....

Oh man....I gotta change that old Led Zeppelin CD in my car soon....

It seems to lead to what looks like, even in this eerie darkness...the second floor. It's REALLY REALLY dark in here. I gulp, fighting the urge to back slowly out of that still open door. I realize it's too late now. If I'm ever going to be able to show my face in this pathetic little town again, I've got to go UP those steps. I put one shoe on that first worn tread <i>creeeaaaakkkk</i>, then the other, right, left, right, left....I'm panting now....from fear? the Marlboros? I only know I want my next nouvella appearance to be in a department store with escalators. Three more steps...<pant>. There...I made it.

I find myself in that dark and musty hall, in front of three doors. A tarnished brass number marks each of the doors. I decide on door #3. I chuckle to myself, being reminded of Monty Hall and that costumed audience and....

Anyway...I place my trembling hand on the doorknob of #3 and before I can turn it, I feel it being turned from the other side. I hear a high pitched girlie type scream coming from.....

me. Sorry.

I take a deep breath and turn the knob again from my side. After wrestling back and forth with the unknown knob turner on the other side...the door suddenly opens and......




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Old May 23rd, 2001, 03:57 PM   #37
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there stands a tall man with a beard dressed in high heels and a garter belt with a silk robe draped over his angular shoulders. "I've been waiting for you" he says, "did you bring the Mu Shoo Pork?"
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Old May 23rd, 2001, 04:31 PM   #38
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Clancy. Of all the dimestore buildings in all the bottom nickel towns, why'd he pick this one?
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Old May 23rd, 2001, 04:34 PM   #39
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I snickered recalling the picture of a pig wearing 4 cow slippers, titled "Moo Shoe Pork." Clancy would never get it. Humor eluded him. When God was handing out brains, Clancy though he said "want some rain?" and he said, "Naw, I like the sun."
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Old May 24th, 2001, 12:51 PM   #40
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The first time I saw Clancy, he was standing beside the tar pit on Wilshire in L.A. It was one of those fuschia dusks you get in L.A. on a hot August evening when nothing cools down below 90?, and the styrofoam cup he was holding seemed to suck up all that color and glow in a sort of poisonous plastic neon. I'd noticed him because he is easily 6 feet 6 inches tall.
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Old May 24th, 2001, 02:15 PM   #41
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Clancy has a passion for feather boas, satin, spiked heels and bad Chinese food but I never met a more intrepid private investigator. In a way it was a relief to be able to share this with someone I could trust.
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Old May 24th, 2001, 09:49 PM   #42
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That Boa reminded me of the summer I spent in Cuba, before the world went atomic glow-in-the-dark. The dames were lusty, copper tones, doe-eyed beauties. The men were strong and hairy, or strong with boas, or stong with garlic breath: Clancy was all three. It was the summer of my youth, the summer of my indiffernce, the summer of my discontent. That's where I met Clancy, the Danish Cuban in a Boa and silk boxers. The image makes my brain collide...still.

But you could count on Clancy.
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Old May 24th, 2001, 11:22 PM   #43
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Because underneath all that glitz Clancy is just a regular guy.
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Old May 25th, 2001, 01:16 AM   #44
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<FONT SIZE=-4>(writer muffles laughter)</FONT>
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Old May 25th, 2001, 06:51 AM   #45
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