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Old February 5th, 2010, 10:37 AM   #136
Wolf_angel
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Life is so funny at times. Then its not. Mind you there are many variables that can change the course. It can throw us a curve that seems to never end. That it will make us want to quit quitely.

Well No...um Heck No!!!! I will not go quitely. Nor will I submit meekly. I will rage and fight to keep myself going. There are those who would want me to be sad and lonely. To be upset and depressed. Like I dont have a friend in the world! Well its not going to happen today and tomorrow doesnt look better!

Those people in your life can be of good intentions, neutral or not. There are those who want to upset the apple cart. To keep you on the emotional rollercoaster. To keep you isolated. To laugh and make fun of your inconsequential life as they think it is.

No Life is inconsequential. Nor is the feelings of that person! Every person can decide for themselves what they are going to do when faced with situations. You can become a victim or you can be a fighter! You can give up or rage against it and be what you chose to be. Yes its hard but it will be well worth it.

I will chose to sing and dance. I will continue if need be on my own. However I know that I will have those rare and few people who will be there. Some will come and some will go. No matter what though, I know I can and will go forward.

When the day I go to meet the Creator. I dont want any one crying over me. I want them to party! I want them to sing and dance. To celebrate the life I had. To show whatever they have learned from me to others. This way I will be honored and humbled by this.

Tis all we can do. Thus what is your choice? I have made mine. Do you want to be with me or against me? Tis your choice. Just remember every thing will be accounted for. I wish you the best in whatever endeavors you undertake. The best there is in life. Blessings on your family and yourself.

Have a great day!
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Old February 5th, 2010, 04:20 PM   #137
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Wolfie)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) you are one of the bravest women I know.
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Old February 14th, 2010, 09:42 PM   #138
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Is it just me or does it never get easier? You know how we all have been told it'll get eaiser with time. Well, no it doesn't. I live with these people who never say Thank you or please and only ask me what's wrong when I am so mad I just want to tell them all to go away 'cause Yep, here I sit crying yet it takes til that point til they ask, if they ask at all.I can't even turn to my Mom and say why do the people you live with say any thing nice to you? I can't tell you when someone other than the one I gave birth to said Thanks dinner was good. Or thank you for helping out.
Isn't funny how they can complain if the pants they want aren't clean. Or there is no fresh Iced tea in the frig.It's Valentine's day and I feel as if I have doing for people all day. I got taken to the movies and the only one who even hugs me was a friend of our girls when we dropped her off. The other adult here didn't wish me a happy valentine's day or so much as hug me.
Am I that hard to love? Am I that hard to see the hurt I feel?Is it ...I never thought of myself as unloveable or unapproachable but the people in my life have sure made me feel exactly like that.
For those of you who have people in your life who have shown you love today you are the blessed ones. I thought I use to be amoung them but not anymore.
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Old February 14th, 2010, 10:15 PM   #139
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Well ((((( Crazymomma ))))))) I do know exactly what you mean. Going thru it. But I do love you and value you more than you know. So remember you have me ok? Hugs and kisses
Have a better day!
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Old March 17th, 2010, 11:40 AM   #140
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Sad song and dance of lies

No matter what I will love you til I die
Even when you make me cry
For you have left me all alone
Making me think I am made of stone
With no heart, spirit or mind
YOu dont care, you think I'll be just fine.
Going out and smoking whatnot
You dont care cause I could rot
Say one thing promise another
Yet all you are is another brother.
Yet when faced with the truth
You'd rather let it go and treat me like ruth
When you are hurt and in pain
I have to jump and run even in the rain
Whereas I am sick not doing well
You'll come in drunk and then you fell
Time and time again you change what you say
Yet it isnt believeable because you want it your way
Forget the promises you had made before
All you care about is not me anymore
You show it all the time
When you are asked for help, you just ramble and rhyme
If this was done to you
There be hell to pay and I usually do
Thus now it seems not to matter
For I could be dead and you'd just chatter
So decide what the truth is and will be
For pretty soon it will come out for all to see.

Written by CloudWeaver on March 17, 2010
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Old March 17th, 2010, 04:01 PM   #141
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((((((( WolfAngel)))))), That's beautiful. You have been suffering in an abusive relationship for a long time. Sit down make 2 lists. A the positive things about your relationship. B the negative aspects of it. Be honest with yourself on it. Then weigh the difference. Keep any messages that were sent to you to use as collateral when you finally do make the change. Good luck. You have a lot of people rooting for you.
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Old March 18th, 2010, 07:11 AM   #142
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((((((((IRISH_EYES_99)))))))) Thank you so much! Its with the encouragement from all of you on here and elsewhere that keeps me focused on my goal. Yes I will do that later on. I will also let all of you know I received some bad news from my ob/gyn appointment. Needless to say, I will deal with it also. I will let you all know how things go one way or another. Yet keeping focused, having those like yourselves who encourage me and support me even via WOW, and others who are nearby does really make a difference. Just remember to the world you may not be anyone, but to one you are their world!

Have a better day than yesterday!
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Old March 19th, 2010, 11:15 AM   #143
Wolf_angel
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I apologize.....

I apologize for being who I am;
I apologize for believing in you;
I apologize for trusting you;
I apologize for wanting the best in you;
I apologize for being truthful;
I apologize for being honest;
I apologize for speaking my mind;
I apologize for telling you no when you wanted me to say yes;
I apologize for thinking you are great as you are, flaws and all;


Yet if I was told to stop all the above for my life would be forfeit,
then all I have to say is.... I apologize!


And would do it all again in a heartbeat!
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Last edited by Wolf_angel; March 19th, 2010 at 11:16 AM. Reason: Error in spelling
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Old March 19th, 2010, 07:21 PM   #144
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(((((((( Hugs)))))))))))), NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING YOU!! YOU WERE MEANT TO BE YOU. If there are things you feel you need to change to make you feel better. Than go ahead & do that. Do it so you feel better about yourself, NOT for someone else.
Sometimes being under the stress of abuse we end up being abusive to ourselves. Then it's time to take that GIANT step back. Look at the whole picture we CAN make it better. Tough steps have TO BE taken. Take them so YOU can MOVE 2 GIANT STEPS FORWARD. Remember the words of the game .." Mother May I" then tell yourself "YES I MAY".
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Old March 19th, 2010, 08:58 PM   #145
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Amen Irish. We wouldn't have you any other way. Big hugs to you both.
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Old March 19th, 2010, 11:51 PM   #146
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(((IRISH))) ((( Crazymomma))) Thank you both! I did that to purge myself. So now that I am going to do exactly what you said IRISH. And I wont be asking anyone but already have given myself permission to move on and forward. Thanks for the support.
Hugs
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Old March 20th, 2010, 08:14 PM   #147
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((((((((Wolf angel)))))) you always have our support and most of all I have a great amount of respect for you.
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Old March 21st, 2010, 08:18 AM   #148
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(((((((((Crazymomma))))))))))) Just like I have for all of you that have known me and things of my life especially within the last few years.
Have a better day today than yesterday!
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Old March 21st, 2010, 09:55 AM   #149
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I sure am going to try but yesterday was a really good day.
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Old January 11th, 2011, 09:37 PM   #150
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I can't find the topic. What is it?
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