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Old October 21st, 2003, 01:07 PM   #16
Snappyt
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Ty, for responding. I guess i have been more open with my 9 yr old, she asked me if i liked girls...I told her yes...she cried....cause her dad told her gay people go to hell....soooo...we talked and and i got her laughing and well my 13 yr old i don't even know if she knows, i am sure she suspects, but she hasn't asked, and my 9 y old did ask.....i want to be open with them....
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Old October 23rd, 2003, 05:18 PM   #17
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Willendorf - I am where you were a few yearsa ago. I have known I was gay since before I was married 17 years ago but married my husband anyway. Probably the only man I would ever marry! Now I am at a point hwere I want to commit to a woman but do not want to leave ny husbadn I have three boys all under 16. I am inhterapy but its good to see that other woman are going through the same thing -
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Old December 15th, 2003, 11:18 PM   #18
shannah_c
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i'm new here, and i'm so glad i found this website...i have been looking for a place to discuss my situation
i have been with "don" for 9 years i recently admitted to myself that i am a lesbian...i met "karen" a few months ago online and immediatley fell in love with her...she is amazing...i left don for karen about amonth ago and it was real messy...he took my oldest child and wouldbn't give her back...i ended up going back to him a few days later...more for my child than for myself...almost as soon as i went back home i missed her and regreted my decision. karen is wonderful and she is still around for me and she is waiting for me to leave him again. i feel bad for her because her life is on hold waiting for me and i really don't think i'm worth it...she tells me everyday that i am....my worst fear is that i will leave hiom and he will take me to court for custody of our girls...any advice?
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Old December 16th, 2003, 11:51 AM   #19
MintyFemme2
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shannah_c Gosh this is not an easy thing to answer or deal with. I would like to think that you can't be kept from your kids based on your sexuality alone but I don't know your state laws. My best advice would be to find a lawyer who knows about the Gay/Lesbian rights in your state. Contact your locla ACLU to see if they have any advice . Another way to go if money is an issue would be your local legal school if you have one. I wish you all the luck in the world. I suggest you find out what your child/children have been told by your husband as well. Children are often torn between parents when they divorce no matter what the situttion is. Honesty is always the best way to go but only if your child is old enough to handle it. As a mother I would I would suggest you re-assure your child/children that mommy and daddy love them and that what is going on is NOT their fault. I have a wonderful son who is very accepting of course he has always been around my friends. A couple of months ago he told me " I am a very lucky boy. I have a Mommy, Daddy and P..... ( my partner's name). I couldn't ask for a better child
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Old December 16th, 2003, 07:06 PM   #20
shannah_c
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thanks for the reply mintyfemme...me and "don"...are not actually married, we just live like we are, wich does make things a bit easier as far as lawyers go. my main issue is getting up the nerve to just walk out...me and him have had a long and trying relationship and i'm tired....we've been together 9 years and i have nothing to show for it but the children. i'm not in love with him and no longer in love with him nor do i even want him to touch me...all i want is my karen without causing drama....wishful thinking...no matter how this plays out it's gonna be massy all over again....but it's all worth it as long as she is there when i run to her
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Old December 17th, 2003, 10:52 PM   #21
patientone
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its all going to work out for you

shannah_c, i know this is tough and im sure you never imagined yourself in this situation, if you truly love "karen" with all you have then it shouldnt matter if its going to be messy or not, all break-ups are messy, especially ones that have lasted so long. As long as you know that you have her and you and your kids will be happy in the end, it will be worth all of this frustration and pain. Im sure "karen" is a wonderful person and will give you all that you want, need and deserve. To start a relatioship with someone through the roughest of times, and if it lasts through it, that tells you something right there. Fate has taken over and you must go with the flow. You can not help who you love or who loves you , you must just take that and run with it. True love doesnt happen that often anymore and we are very lucky we found it. You have the rest of your life with her to make up for the years you feel you have wasted. Love will conquer all!!!
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Old December 17th, 2003, 10:57 PM   #22
shannah_c
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thanks for the words of encouragement patientone....she is worth all the crap i'm gonna have to go through...TENFOLD!
it's true that long relationship breakups are messy, and if it wasn't for her i don't think i would have the courage to do this....once all of this is over i'll have her and i'll be truely happy!
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Old December 17th, 2003, 10:59 PM   #23
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i think your making the right desicion to be with her. she sounds like a great gal!!
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Old June 11th, 2004, 11:38 AM   #24
kimrock222
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I am a New member today, never have I posted a message before - not anywhere - scary or wot?
I guess I'll get used to this but I just don't know what to say.
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Old October 4th, 2004, 03:33 PM   #25
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[quote]Originally posted by QuietWOW
Have you been married or are you still married? When did you discover same gender attractions? Was it hard to make that change?
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Old October 30th, 2004, 01:16 PM   #26
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well my story is a bit different from the norm, and yet not completely unique i have found. I can look back ( ahh that 0/20 hindsight) and see red flags just begging for attention about this from real young, like 8 or 9. But i was raised in an extremely strict and religous household.( my gr pa was a lutheran pastor and my mom was fully involved in the church all the time including employed by throughout the years, my first "real" job was in the church)
So i was not allowed to THINK it much less BE it.
I married a man that I still consider one of my soulmates. We had allowed a so-called friend to stay with us as she needed help. She proceeded to blantantly angle for my husband. During this time i engaged in a situation with both of them, as a weird attempt to keep him, and found myself , well, doing things, to HER> I shoulda known then, u would think, but i believe it scared me so badly that i shut it away again and it didnt wiggle out for another decade, sad to say. I went through several hetero relationships, including another disastrous marriage from which my son and I became co survivors of abuse.
So when the thoughts started to creep into my head again, i had met a man that actually gave me the room and support to come out. I had one other very brief hetero relationship, ( i think i had to "make sure") but since then i have never looked back and guys are for friends and sons and dads now, but nothing romantic. I am quite content that is be so.
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Old August 30th, 2006, 02:17 PM   #27
Amy
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Wink Married Before...Now I love my girlfriend

Quote:
Originally posted by QuietWOW
Have you been married or are you still married? When did you discover same gender attractions? Was it hard to make that change?

HI there! I was married for 18 years ...but it really ended for me 10 years into the marriage. Technically I am not divorced....I am in the process though.

I noticed my same sex attraction when I was in about 5th grade. I played boyfriend and girlfriend with the neighbor girl. I thought ..and still think this may be what all little girls do?? I then went to girlscout camp and fell in love with my counselor who was a woman...I thought she looked like a boy though.

I never thought of anyone the same sex again until I couldn't help making a pass at my best friend back in 2001. We had a great time and I did and even still love and care for her. We decided it was just a "thing" that happened and yet we couldn't seem to just be friends after that ...so our friendship ended.

I went back to trying to make my marraige work.

I then fell in love with my best girlfriend...December 29, 2006. I told her I had a crush on her...she apparently didn't know how I felt ...yet she felt some huge attraction. "not sexual" she said. Well, we are together..in a commited, sexual, loving , very intimate, relationship now ans have been for 8 months. I never really thought to much about being in same sex relationships, but I was always very open to the idea as far as others were concerned, I also used to say "I am going gay..if I ever get divorced" Hmmmmmm, I wonder if those were hints in my soul/heart...or if it is just how things ended up. I would like to say that I can't believe the intimacy I have in this relationship...I have never, ever had this with a man or woman or anyone. It blows my mind.

Thanks For listening,
Amy
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Old August 30th, 2006, 03:10 PM   #28
Wolf_angel
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Wink Hi and Welcome!

(((((((Amy))))))

Hi and Welcome to WOW!!!!!!!

That is just great you have found for yourself what is good for you.

Not too many people do that, so its a rare find indeed.

I myself am in love with a man.

Yet I have friends and relatives that are gay lesbian and bisexual. No it doesnt bother me none whatsoever. I look into the person to see the real person. As long as you are happy and it doesnt hurt any one else, go for it!
Being honest and open is more than some people on this planet do. LOL

Please take a look around the message boards and dont be afraid to come into the chats. Lots of fun there.

Have a great day!
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Old September 4th, 2006, 10:52 AM   #29
MintyFemme2
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(((((((((((((WILLOW))))))))) you are in love with a man???? (just jokiing) Hiya Amy, do as Willow said LOl. There are lots of interesting topcis aruond here. In our chat rooms there are even more intersting people
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Old September 24th, 2006, 10:26 PM   #30
Sabra
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If I had a wish to have granted, I would wish, no one would ever have to explain their sexual orientation. I stand here at almost 56 years old still wondering why it matters. Why are others threatened because some of us are sexually and emotionally attracted to the same sex? I just don't understand it.
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