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View Poll Results: Do you feel the same way I do?
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Old December 8th, 2004, 06:35 PM   #1
katherine
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Post Do you have a lesbian friend or family member?

I am fifteen years old, and I live in a very small homophobic community in northern California, and my grandmother was a lesbian. I loved her so much, she was the best person I knew. She died five years ago, and it is so painful to hear my friends talk about how wrong and disgusting being gay is. I completely dissagree with them, of course, but I feel like if I say anything then they will think I'm weird. I loved my grandma more than anybody in the world, and I get so frusterated because I feel like people are attacking her when they talk like that. I just feel like if they knew her then maybe they would feel differently. Maybe they could see for just a second that being gay isn't some disease that you have to stay away from. Since I can't talk to any of my friends about how I feel, I was wondering if maybe anybody out there felt the same way as I do, or just understands my pain.
Thank you for listening.
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Old December 8th, 2004, 07:21 PM   #2
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katherine, I think you'll find almost everyone who posts here sympathizes and understands how much those remarks hurt you. Hold on to your loving memories of your grandmother. She must have been a wonderful woman. Maybe if some of your friends had known her they would think differently, but many still will never develop tolerance. It's fear and ignorance. You seem so wise for fifteen, katherine, and I know it's very difficult for you to speak up to your friends right now, but I bet someday you will.
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Old December 8th, 2004, 07:31 PM   #3
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Katherine, How lucky your grandmother was to have such a wise and understanding granddaughter. Cod is right your friends may never understand, or maybe along the way they will wake up and realize that who or how a person loves is ok. They have yet to look at the person as a whole.
Your grandmother was a great person look at you. Look at the way you are willing to accept someone for who they are. What a wonderful gift that is for you. Fifteen and you are wise beyond your years. As Cod said treasure your memories.
Feel free to post here we do care.
Good luck to you. Sorry that you are hurting as much as you are. Please know that their are people here that care.
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Old December 9th, 2004, 06:50 PM   #4
katherine
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Cod and Irish Eyes, thank you so much for your kind and understanding words. It makes me feel so much better to know that there are people out there that are not as judgmental as the people in my life. Maybe someday I will find the courage to stand up to my friends, and I hope that that day comes soon. I really appreciate you responding.
-katherine
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Old December 9th, 2004, 07:01 PM   #5
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Hi katherine! You are so welcome. It IS hard sometimes to find people who aren't afraid to think for themselves, especially when they are 15. I think your grandmother would be very proud of you. Nice to meet you.
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Old December 9th, 2004, 08:01 PM   #6
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Hi Katherine! It is hard to be a teenager with different veiws then friends. I am so glad you are supportive of your Grandma. I know if she was still here she would be proud of you as well. As a lesbian and a daughter of a lesbian I can tell you having family support is very important.
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Old December 9th, 2004, 10:06 PM   #7
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Katherine, It really is a pleasure to meet you. Tell you what I wish for you, I guess more for your friends.. to open their hearts. To try and understand more about someone or something that is different from the way you think doesn' t make that person bad or wrong.
What is wrong is all the prejudice that is out there. So KUDOS to you Katherine. I wish you more friends like you. You have a good heart. Keep it open and it will open up the world to you.
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Old December 9th, 2004, 10:20 PM   #8
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(((((((IRISH))))) you are so wise dear!
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Old December 10th, 2004, 10:25 AM   #9
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I can't tell all of you how much better I feel. I have never really talked publicly about my grandma, because I didn't know what reaction I would get. I am so glad that I found this website and decided to put up a post. I am so relieved that there are people out there that support me and they don't even know me. You have no idea how much you have helped me. Thank you so much.
-katherine
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Old December 12th, 2004, 12:28 AM   #10
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First l wanted to say to you katherine that i am really happy that you are able to acept people for who they are...I am a lesbian and i have family members who I cant even tell cause they would never talk to me again...I used to have friends that stop being my friend once I told them it hurt for a while but I came to relize that if you cant be my friend and love me for who I am then I dont need you in my life....Second I would like to say that when the time is right to tell your friends your veiws dont feel bad it they lost they are losing a great person and a great friend...We really need more people like you on the earth to beable to acept us for who we are and i just wanted to say your grandma had a really special granddaughter
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Old December 13th, 2004, 10:44 AM   #11
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A couple of my friends and I got into a discussion the other day about gays and lesbians. Some of them were telling me that the bible says that no gays get into heaven. I don't care whether or not it says that, I don't believe it. All of the gay people that I have known in my life have been possibly the nicest (and happiest) people I've known. The people who fight it are possibly the unhappiest. I guess what they say isn't true. Ignorance is not bliss. I am not saying that my friends are stupid, they just bash on things that they don't understand. Everyone should have the right to be what they want to be, live how they want to live, and love how they want to love.
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Old December 13th, 2004, 01:00 PM   #12
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Did you say these things to your friends, katherine? Just curious. If everyone believed what you said in your last sentence, this world could be perfect.

So I guess it'll never happen, but people like you always make me more hopeful.
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Old December 13th, 2004, 01:36 PM   #13
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Katherine, alot of people believe what they are taught. One person can change how they believe. If you manage to change the veiws of one person, then thatt person changes the veiws... slowly but surely things will change. Speak up and let the world hear your voice.
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Old December 13th, 2004, 06:26 PM   #14
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Actually, I did speak up and tell my friends how I felt about it. Surprisingly, a few started to see my point. However, I didn't tell them about my grandma, I don't think their ready for that. It seems like they are just going on what their parents believe in, they don't really have their own beliefs yet. Maybe if I show them "the other side", rather than simply gays are bad, then they can make the decision based on what they know, instead of what they have been hearing their whole lives.
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Old December 13th, 2004, 07:26 PM   #15
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Hey good for you, katherine. That takes courage to speak up to your peers. Proud of you! Maybe you WILL make them think for themselves.
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