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Old August 17th, 2001, 10:47 AM   #16
tupi
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I have to go back to the GYN for my "annual". Now, since he stole my uterus, ovaries and cervix, what do you suppose he's going to check? I don't have anything left!

I am still not happy about having to lose my organs. I know everyone thinks I'm nuts, but I kinda resent that my body fell apart. It's been 9 months since my hysterectomy and I still have an incredible amount of abdominal pain. That pisses me off. I didn't have pain like this before I had the hysteretomy. Okay, okay, I was bleeding to death, but it didn't hurt!

I guess since I'm 50, I now really qualify for mid-life. Most of the women in my family live very long lives. My gramma is 90 and her older sister is 96 and doing quite well. On the other side of the family, my great aunt lived to be 107...but she was real mean.
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Old January 26th, 2002, 01:39 PM   #17
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I've read many of the posts here over the past year or so, but haven't posted much (maybe 1 or 2 posts), so here goes.

The past year has been a little rough, as far as I'm concerned. After having jobs that required driver's licenses, etc., I'm now w/o a license (I'm legally blind, though my central vision is still 20/20) and I hit 48 several months later. So, I guess that the two combined could qualify as a mid-life crisis. I've got to admit, though, I'm handling it fairly well (all things considered). The only thing that bugs me is not being able to contribute financially (although, getting Soc. Sec. disability while going back to school helps).

Except for the eyesight, though, my midlife seems to be better than my yonger years...It's a little strange figuring I'm middle-aged instead of young, but all-in-all, I'm enjoying the process.
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Old January 27th, 2002, 08:41 AM   #18
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I think mid-life should be a time of comfort when you're free of much of the trappings of raising families and of the expectations of youth. The crisis for me came when no one needed a mommy anymore. I'd worked myself out of a job and had few skills for another.

I think that's the main issue with mid-life. It does include physical changes involved with menopause, but most of the crisis is mental. It's a time of life when we realize that all our battles are won or lost in our own heads. If we continue to say we can or can't do something, then we will or won't try. It's a time when we sit in judgement of ourselves, and we can often be our harshest critic.

The physical changes are really tough to deal with, too, but if we can just figure out how to keep our heads on straight, women in mid-life could conquer the world!
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Old August 25th, 2002, 08:47 PM   #19
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MommaD, I've Been Struggling!

MommaD, I am new to the boards and have enjoyed reading your posts! I'm not sure you still post but I thought I'd respond anyway.

I'm 39 and have been feeling like so much is missing from my life. I have a family (a 20 yr old out of the house and a 10 yr old with ADHD) so most of my time is spent doing for the family. How does a mother get out of this rut? I've been feeling like I don't know who "I" am anymore, much less ponder what "middle age" means. I try so hard to get back the things I used to love doing and I have to admit I haven't been doing too bad, but it's hard when I have to work full-time. I never feel like I've satisfied my desire to do things for me. Is this part of a crisis or just part of a hectic life?

I've had many obstacles and I've forged ahead, but mostly to survive and not to accomplish the things that are in my heart. I have a BA and I've always wanted to pursue a career in Social Work. Most of the programs include 20 hrs devoted to an agency outside of classroom time and that's not possible for me right now...but maybe in a few years. I haven't given up yet; however, I do feel depressed about my current career...which really isn't a career, just a job to keep food on the table. Sigh! How do I stop beating myself up over the wrong paths I've taken?

Paula
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Old August 30th, 2002, 01:23 AM   #20
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Hi, Bebe! I don't post here often any more, but I do lurk quite a bit. <g>

The first question I would have to ask is: How do you know the paths you've taken were wrong? Maybe they were exactly the RIGHT paths to take to make you the person you are today. I've often said that I regret absolutely nothing I've done in my life. Why? Simple! I've learned something and/or become stronger because of every event. Rather than beating yourself up over those paths, look back with the wisdom of hindsight. Did you do what seemed right at the time? Did you learn from it? Are you stronger because of it? My bet is you'll find that you answer yes to one or all of those questions. My bet is you're going to be amazed at what a wonderous path you've followed without even being aware.

We're at somewhat similar places in our lives. I'm 41 with a 19 year old out of the house and a 14 year old still at home. My life often seems to consist of family and job and little else. To cope, I've made sure I enjoy both. My job is challenging me in ways I never would have expected and my family never fails to awe me in one way or another. A rut? Yeah, I probably <i>am</i> in one, but I dug it in such a way that I can enjoy it. (Well, most of the time, anyway! <g>) Did I expect my life to be different? VASTLY!!! Oh well. I suspect it wouldn't have been NEARLY as interesting if it had been the way I "planned" it! :-)

Celebrate the little things, bebe, and enjoy where you are right now. Tomorrow's another day and I can guarantee there will be some little surprise <i>somewhere</i> in it, just for you. :-)
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Old September 19th, 2002, 12:21 AM   #21
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MommaD, I can't tell you how thrilled I was to read your response!

I did answer "yes" to your questions and at the time the choices I made WERE right for me. How is it you never realize this until several years later or when someone points it out to you? You know what? I AM proud of who I am today because I have been to hell and back. In retrospect, I never felt I was doing anything great or astounding when I'd pick myself up and move on after falling. It's almost as if it was happening to someone else. Sometimes I wonder....if I am not where I wanted to be at this time in my life who is to say I'd be happy if I were? Life is funny...we always want what we don't have and then when we do get it (or something similar) there's always something else we yearn for.

My job has been challenging lately, too, and I'm starting to enjoy that. I don't enjoy the mental exhaustion, but in time that will pass after I've adjusted to my new duties. It may not be my career choice but I'm still learning new things and that will always be with me....and look really good on my resume.

Work and family...yes, that is my life too. I'm learning to squeeze in time for me. I love to read, do scrapbooking and make beaded jewelry. I use drying my hair under the hair dryer as reading time. The other things I usually fit in late on a Sat. nite if I have the energy. Just recently I've decided to pursue a writing career. I'm in a 2-yr writing program with the Institute of Children's Literature. I just received my package yesterday so I'm excited about that. Who knows where it will lead me and if it leads me nowhere at least I won't wonder what would've happened if. Do you have any hobbies other than work and family?

So, a 14 year old. Oh! That age is hard but I guess every age is hard, they all present obstacles and issues to deal with.

Well, I must go and get ready for bed so I can be rested for tomorrow. Thank you and I hope to hear from you again soon.

Bebe
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Old June 22nd, 2003, 11:20 PM   #22
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Unhappy Where is everyone??

This seems like such a nice place and I adore the title of this forum! I would have thought this board would be hoppin'! Well, I shall return! TTFN
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Old July 18th, 2004, 12:19 PM   #23
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I've just reread this thread, and hope nobody minds too much if I revive it.

Since I posted on this thread 2 1/2 yrs. ago, my husband has had to retire (he's losing his vision, too). He's always been a bit of a workaholic, and, after driving cab for 37 years, he took it kind of hard to have to retire. Finances were extremely tight for a while (one of my sons had been laid off and had finished his unemployment at that time), but we've pulled through. Finances are still a little tough, but not insurmountable.

How's everyone else doing?
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Old July 20th, 2004, 02:30 PM   #24
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Hi, rjsfeminist!

I had to go on disability 9 years ago and I know how that can impact your life. At the time it happened, Greg (2nd husband) was the househubby and home for my son (I call him Pirate). I earned our entire family income. It was a mess, we lived through it and are okay. Pirate actually told me at Christmas that it taught him so many things about what is truly important in life.

Right now, I have multiple health problems and a recent death in the family, but I'm surviving. Health-wise, some days are better than others.

It's nice to meet you!
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Old September 6th, 2004, 02:18 PM   #25
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Hey, Brede, if I remember correctly, you're in FL, like I am. How have you weathered Hurricanes Frances and Charlie? We boarded up really well for Charlie, and are currently feeling the last little bit of Frances.
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Old September 6th, 2004, 02:50 PM   #26
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We are expecting Frances today. We won't get much from it. However, it appears to have done severe damage to Cocoa Beach which is where Greg and I grew up and moved from last year. Guess we got out at a good time!? Our old house might now even be there. It is 150 yards west of the ocean and 150 yards east of the Banana River. It is only 4 feet above sea level. There has been almost no news about Cocoa Beach or Cape Canaveral other than it recorded the highest wind gust. It was hit with 100 mph winds for over 14 hours, had many tornados and the storm surge came in with the high tide. Not at all a good thing.

We live on the mainland now at a whopping 33 feet above sea level. And we have a stretch of small islands in the bay between our house and the barrier island. I've also done all the upgrades to the house so that it can withstand a category 4 hurricane. I feel much safer here.

My younger brother lives in Port St. Lucie, where Frances made landfall. He doesn't know if he has a house left. He was renting and smart enough to have bought renter insurance. But, I'm not sure that will cover hurricane damage. We have a separate hurricane policy for our house and contents.

Charley was a nice sunny day for us.
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Old September 6th, 2004, 08:17 PM   #27
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I just read a little bio of Carrot Top (odd!) today and he was born and raised in Cocoa Beach.

Hope you won't sustain much damage, brede!
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Old September 6th, 2004, 08:37 PM   #28
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liam..... i think that was cuckoo beach!

good luck brede! now what is ivan gonna do? yikes
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Old September 9th, 2004, 02:58 PM   #29
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We got a whopping 38mph wind gust out of Frances. The west side had all but disappeared by the time it got up here. We didn't even get any rain, which we could use.

Ivan is a different story altogether. All the storm projections put him on or close enough to us that we will have to evacuate. I have no idea where we will go. Maybe we will head to Austin, and stay with Greg's newly remet older brother. The two of them getting together was the bright and shining star of all that has happened since Greg's mom died.

I think carrot top was brought up in Orlando or Winter Park....or maybe that's where he went to college, I know we both went to the same college at different times, but I went to two.

If you want to see the damage in my old homestead got to this link and look for Cocoa Beach photos from the last 2 days. The beach has totally changed. I have no idea what happened to my old house, but I think it was okay.

http://www.floridatoday.com/!NEWSROOM/index.html
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Old September 9th, 2004, 03:06 PM   #30
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The aerial beach pictures are withing 6 blocks of my old house and the church with the steeple in the roof is 6 blocks north of the old house.

We both got a laugh out of the steeple. Pirate went to school at that church for about three years (his personality wasn't matching public school expectations *grin* that's my boy!). Since it was private, tuition was required, we were broke, so Greg did maintenence for them 15-20 hours a week. He had been up in that steeple many times and always worried that is was simply going to drop straight down someday. What happened was even better!!!!
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