Random Right Brain Neuron Firings

In fact, I find the Butch/Femme thing funny in many ways. I have been in a relationship where I was virtually pushed into the stone butch position, and I did not like it. I stayed because I loved her, but it damn near killed my spirit. I knew in my heart that she didn't love me, but she said she did, and I believed my ears. Don't do that.

It may be more accurate to say that I am the one who isn't afraid of spiders, and can kill them. I am attracted to women who are not afraid of snakes, and will either kill them or get them out of my way. I think there is a significant personality difference reflected in this dichotomy. I think spider-phobic women are terrified of commitment and engulfment, of being ensnared in a web they can't escape. I think snake-phobic women are terrified of betrayal and abandonment, the snake-in-the-grass that speaks seductive words, then bites you and slithers off. Don't give me any Freudian shit; I am a psychotherapist, you know. I am not afraid of penises; slept with a couple of wonderful men. The emotional connection was just missing. I made a mental shopping list during, and afterwards felt like, "Ok, that was pleasant, get off of me and go on home."

The happiest day of my life was when I realized I am a lesbian. I thought, "Thank God, I thought there was something WRONG with me!" I could in fact feel all of those raptures that poets speak of. Whew!

Back to the snake topic. Snakes have been finding me for years, no matter where I am. I once went to Nova Scotia, and felt safe hiking in the woods because I read that there are no snakes in Nova Scotia. I had not walked more than a dozen steps when I looked down and there was a snake. I have a witness.

I digress. I love to cook, hate cleaning. I love to drive, and lead when dancing, and initiate lovemaking, but I wouldn't be caught dead changing my own oil. I gave my circular saw to a friend, because it scared me, but I love my other power tools. Going to Homo Depot is my idea of a great outing.

Something I have observed in the lesbian community is that when a woman attempts to change her image, it's viewed with as much suspicion (and sometimes derision) as sexual reassignment surgery.

I have problems with the pro-choice movement. It's not a morality thing, it's that I get so angry that so many women use abortion as a form of birth control. It's irresponsible, and as a therapist, I frequently have to deal with women who are remorseful 10 years down the road from the abortion.

More to be added as it bubbles to the surface.......

Gratuitous Fun Graphic